Parts of myself.

You can't really trust anyone. Not completely , anyway. I mean.. yeah, you can sure try to, but there comes a time when you simply can't do it anymore. There comes a secret you can't tell, a moment you want to keep it to yourself..

You can't really trust anyone. I've tried .. Here I am, standing in front of her, in front of my best friend, since we were in 7th grade, looking at her and not being able to say a word. Needing two beers and one more to say a tiny little part of what happened. And then, happening something else, living completely new emotions and still, not being capable to talk to her.

You can't really trust anyone. You can't give your soul, every part of it, to anyone. No one can really, really understand you. How could they, after all? There is no one who can be on exactly the same page with you. All you can do is tell her some things, him another things and so on. But even if you want to, there will still be a little part of yourself which you will, unconsciously, keep for yourself.

I think.. I think by sharing these little things, their value might decrease. After all, they are important only for you. And besides, no one actually cares..

Cauta-ma, daca vrei.

"Ce simti tu acum..e doar inceputul."

Cumva, propozitia asta nu-mi iese din cap. Merci, bai.

Mi-am mai revenit , da. Prea brusc, as putea zice. Sunt curioasa doar.. cat de multe pot face fara sa ma mai gandesc. Doar sa simt. Si stii de ce? E al dracului de bine sa nu faci nimic altceva decat sa simti .
Numai ca.. daca ma ia valul prea repede, regret apoi. Si sunt satula de regrete.

Luna asta e ireala.

Revino-ti , auzi?

Am vazut marea.. Mult mai frumoasa decat mi-o aduceam eu aminte. Sa stau cu picioarele in apa calda, simtind cum fuge nisipul de sub talpi, cred ca va ramane unul dintre cele mai frumoase lucruri pe care le puteam face.

Am gandit prea mult, din nou. Am incercat sa gandesc prea putin, sau deloc si nu am reusit decat sa fac prostii.

"Revino-ti, auzi?"

Daca as fi avut net pe telefon, ar fi fost mai multe postari. Am avut prea multe ganduri, si chiar daca a fost cineva langa mine, nici chiar ei nu i le-am putut impartasi. Era implicata.. Nu putea intelege ce simteam eu, crezand ca e o prostie.

A fost o saptamana ireala, iti zic. Mult mai rea si mult mai buna decat ma asteptam, in acelasi timp, trecand de la una la alta in cateva secunde. Vreau sa cred ca am invatat ceva. Nu. Vreau sa cred ca o sa si tin minte ceva. Ca o sa pun ceva in aplicare.

N-am fost eu. Am incercat sa nu fiu eu, adica. Mi-a iesit o laie. M-am bagat doar in probleme.

Am realizat ca singura persoana de care ma tem cu adevarat sunt eu. How screwed up is that, then?!

Reflexele ma parasesc
N-am chef sa gandesc, nu vreau decat sa evadez
Sunt liber sa plutesc, liber sa eliberez
C-am atatea stranse-n mine..